w e a l t h .

Sometimes, I just want to walk alone in the park,
feeling the cool breeze on my face,
thinking back on the precious memories I shared with the ones I loved.
I no understand why is everyone so caught up in a flux,
trying to live their life the way they think they should.

They pursue glamour, power and wealth.
But ultimately,
What does it lead us to anyway?
People these days know the price of everything, but the value of nothing.
And honestly,
I find that very saddening.




I can't bring myself to look you in the eyes.

G u y s .

Guys.
They are so superficial.
They can only see how attractive a girl is,the way they look,
the way they dress, the way the put on their makeup.
Those unlucky girls who do not look as aesthetically pleasing as others,they simply get ignored.
Worse of all,they usually get cruelly rejected,
yet leaving another scar on their already damaged souls and hearts.


I often wonder,whether the guys noticed how these girls,reveal their genuine smiles whenever they see their eyes twinkle playfully as they talked about the times he had fun.

How she would tuck the loose strand of hair dangling by the side of their cheek neatly behind their right ear when she's nervous,or look away shyly whenever they look them directly in the eyes.

How she would do funny, stupid and completely redundant and to an extent, retarded actions just so he could notice her?
Or how she would especially wear something nice so she could leave a good impression on him?

Guys, it's time you learn to look deeper than the way things appear to be one the surface.
Wake up your ideas about girls.
We're not as simple as you think we are.






The empty space in my heart is still vacant.

d e c e m b e r .

December starts today.
Looking back at everything, I'm pretty amazed I survived so much.
But the worse has yet to come.


Just remembered a quote from "The Outsiders" by S.E Hinton;
"Nothing gold can stay."
So I'm just trying to cherish all that I have now.
Clinging on to those times we shared,
the memories we had,
before it all fades away.






I have died everyday waiting for you.
Darling don't be afraid,
I have loved you for a thousand years,
And I'd love you, for a thousand more. - Christina Perri; A Thousand Years.

My mind's a struggle,
my heart in a tangle.
Lost, I don't know where to turn to,
who to confide in.
I never found myself feeling so utterly trapped before.




I remember those nights I cried myself to sleep.

爱。

我，爱上了不该爱上的人。
但是，就算他不爱我，我还是会祝他能够找到属于自己的幸福。




人生就是如此残酷，
当心想他就是自己的白马王子时，
你才会发现，
这世上是没有爱情能够跟童话故事一样的完美。

1 9 9 th

Whenever I have just a tiny gleam of hope,
I destroy it as fast as possible.
Because I know how excruciating it is,
if it was someone else who were to be the one destroying it.
Especially if that someone meant the whole world to you.









Looking back now,
It all feels like a joke to me.
I wish I've known that earlier,
So I wouldn't have made myself look like a complete fool.
But thank you,
For saving my pride, at the very least.

t e e n a g e .

The hardest part of growing up,
I personally feel,
is the teenage years.
In our childhood time,
everbody held their innocence,
nobody really understood what exactly was shame.
Everybody just had their fun, laughed along with their playmates,
and cried at small matters that thinking back now, makes it hard to resist a laugh.

However, now in our teens,
everyone looks at things from a totally different viewpoint.
We shed off our coat of innocence,
and become as judgemental, and pretentious as we can.
We often see things the way it is,
and never beyond that,
never beyond that shade of superficiality and pretense.

And it often disappoint me to see so many friendship, kinship and relationship being ruin just because of our shallowness, our insolence and ignorance.
yes, I might be making this statement here because well,
I AM in my teens, to be told the truth.

Maybe, as we mature, we might change - for the better.
But who knows?
We might take a wrong turn,
and roll downhill instead.
Whatever it is,
Now I realise that nothing ever stays permanent as what it is.
Everything and everyone changes,
along with time.
So cherish,
cherish each and every moment you have,
because once it's gone,
it's never gonna come back,
and even if it does,
it's never gonna be the same.




I miss you so bad.
I have completely failed to give up on you.