I feel so overwhelmed with work.
Somehow, it seems endless.
I find myself trying to finish and clear the workload,
but it just comes flooding in before I can clear it all away.
It's been long since I've felt the feeling whereby I know I have done everything I needed to do.
I want to feel that again.
And I am trying hard to find that feeling.

There was once I told myself silently in my heart,
I promised to sacrifice everything up for him.
I prayed, hoped and wished every night he would one day reciprocate my feelings for him. But no, it never happened.
Now, I prayed, hoped and wished every night that it did.

I d o n ' t w a n t .

Sometimes, I wished I hadn't taken on this responsibilty.
I wish there was someone out there,
who knew how I felt,
and would save me out of this horrible feeling.
The feeling of being trapped out in some kind of circumstances,
which you know you would never be able to escape from.

I wish people could understand out I feel.
I wish people would know that I did all that,
But I didn't mean to do all those things.
I'm serious.

I just want to be myself.
I don't want to take on another different persona,
so different that I'm uncomfortable with it.
I don't want to wake up each day feeling so fed up with myself.
I don't want to live each day knowing that I'm wasting time,
Knowing that I can't make a difference.
I don't want to go unheard.
I don't want people to treat me like I'm invisible.
I don't want to live such a life.

S h u t u p .

Look, I know what you're trying to tell us.
I know you have tuition, I know you are far better than most of us in your subjects.
I know you can easily can an A, but I telling you, stop showing it off.
Maybe it's your lack of sense of security that makes you so desperately need some assurance,but look, there are people out there who do not like your insensitve commments, and rude remarks. We all feel offended if you do not know. Why not you just bang your bloody head on your wall to get this truth in, and zip up your big mouth so such words stop spilling out. In conclusion, shut up.

Oh crap.
It's the last day of the holidays.

w e a k .

Sometimes, I feel so demoralized.
So, so weak.
I don't know why.
I feel like I can't accomplish anything perfectly, without anyone's help.
It just makes me feel so.. Sigh.
I don't know what I am supposed to do now.
My life is in broken pieces,
those memories still haunt me all the time,
oh yes, and the guilt.
Smacked right in my face, all this shit.
And I know it's just going to get worse.
That's probably all that I know.


What do you exactly want from me?
Can you just please, I really begging you,
Just get out of my life?
I don't want to hear you, see you, or even feel your presence.
You make me suffocate.

f e e l i n g s .

I can't describe this feeling.
It's like pain, happiness, sorrow, joy all mixed together.



The feeling whereby you feel that he's the only thing you're living for.
Ever felt this way?
And knowing that he won't reciprocate the same feelings towards,
you bottle everything up within your soul,
and everyday of your life you feel like exploding.
Your heart is ripping apart everytime he talks to other girls,
you cry and cry and cry.
Is that what you do?

d i s p e n s a b l e .

I am still afraid to look you in the eyes,
because when I do so,
the guilt still hits me in the face,
and the pain stabs right through my heart.


Sometimes I wonder,
what would happen if I'm gone?
Am I so indispensable and invisible,
that even when I'm gone,
it doesn't matter?
Not a single bit at all?