爱。

我，爱上了不该爱上的人。
但是，就算他不爱我，我还是会祝他能够找到属于自己的幸福。




人生就是如此残酷，
当心想他就是自己的白马王子时，
你才会发现，
这世上是没有爱情能够跟童话故事一样的完美。

1 9 9 th

Whenever I have just a tiny gleam of hope,
I destroy it as fast as possible.
Because I know how excruciating it is,
if it was someone else who were to be the one destroying it.
Especially if that someone meant the whole world to you.









Looking back now,
It all feels like a joke to me.
I wish I've known that earlier,
So I wouldn't have made myself look like a complete fool.
But thank you,
For saving my pride, at the very least.

t e e n a g e .

The hardest part of growing up,
I personally feel,
is the teenage years.
In our childhood time,
everbody held their innocence,
nobody really understood what exactly was shame.
Everybody just had their fun, laughed along with their playmates,
and cried at small matters that thinking back now, makes it hard to resist a laugh.

However, now in our teens,
everyone looks at things from a totally different viewpoint.
We shed off our coat of innocence,
and become as judgemental, and pretentious as we can.
We often see things the way it is,
and never beyond that,
never beyond that shade of superficiality and pretense.

And it often disappoint me to see so many friendship, kinship and relationship being ruin just because of our shallowness, our insolence and ignorance.
yes, I might be making this statement here because well,
I AM in my teens, to be told the truth.

Maybe, as we mature, we might change - for the better.
But who knows?
We might take a wrong turn,
and roll downhill instead.
Whatever it is,
Now I realise that nothing ever stays permanent as what it is.
Everything and everyone changes,
along with time.
So cherish,
cherish each and every moment you have,
because once it's gone,
it's never gonna come back,
and even if it does,
it's never gonna be the same.




I miss you so bad.
I have completely failed to give up on you.

h u n g r y .

I get hungry super easily these days.
Extreme meals.



No way am I gonna go through that again.
Just you wait and see,
how I get you out of my mind.

s c r e w e d .

I feel so screwed inside.
Like a huge mess, all tangled up together in a huge knot.
And the worse thing is, I can't seem to untangle it.
I don't know how to describe this feeling.
There's so much I wanna say,
but I can't find no courage to speak.
There's so much I want you to know,
but I don't know how to tell you.
And I'll probably never tell you.


I need to forget you.
Now.

s l e e p .

Sleep, is the best way to escape the harsh reality of this cruel world.
Well, at least it allows you to divulge yourself into something you would like to sincerely believe in.



Yes, I should have thought of it earlier.
Too submerged in my own fantasies,
So now did I realise it is all a false illusion.
Why would you fall for me anyway?

y o u .

I see your true colours, finally.


I don't know what's wrong with me.
The determination to give up on you melts whenever you flash that smile of yours.
Stop tempting me to fall back into the same trap I so foolishly stepped into.
Please,
I don't want to feel that excrutiating pain yet again.