These few months, so much happened.
I can't even bear to think back now.
I look at my past, and I feel shame.
Shame on me, shame on me.
Why, why was I so selfish?
So grounded, so insistent on fulfilling only my desires, my wants, my needs?
Swore on the promise never to hurt anyone again.
And yet I failed. I failed, badly.
The pain I had inflicted on her,
Was far worse than the previous time.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I did that,
I'm sorry for the way things turned out,
I'm sorry I didn't ever, ever consider your feelings,
I'm sorry,
I broke my promise.
I want to hold on tightly to everything I have now.
Don't make me lose anything more.
Please, please don't. I can't ever bring myself to the pain.
Yet again.
What happened to us?
