S h u t u p .

Look, I know what you're trying to tell us.
I know you have tuition, I know you are far better than most of us in your subjects.
I know you can easily can an A, but I telling you, stop showing it off.
Maybe it's your lack of sense of security that makes you so desperately need some assurance,but look, there are people out there who do not like your insensitve commments, and rude remarks. We all feel offended if you do not know. Why not you just bang your bloody head on your wall to get this truth in, and zip up your big mouth so such words stop spilling out. In conclusion, shut up.

Oh crap.
It's the last day of the holidays.

w e a k .

Sometimes, I feel so demoralized.
So, so weak.
I don't know why.
I feel like I can't accomplish anything perfectly, without anyone's help.
It just makes me feel so.. Sigh.
I don't know what I am supposed to do now.
My life is in broken pieces,
those memories still haunt me all the time,
oh yes, and the guilt.
Smacked right in my face, all this shit.
And I know it's just going to get worse.
That's probably all that I know.


What do you exactly want from me?
Can you just please, I really begging you,
Just get out of my life?
I don't want to hear you, see you, or even feel your presence.
You make me suffocate.

f e e l i n g s .

I can't describe this feeling.
It's like pain, happiness, sorrow, joy all mixed together.



The feeling whereby you feel that he's the only thing you're living for.
Ever felt this way?
And knowing that he won't reciprocate the same feelings towards,
you bottle everything up within your soul,
and everyday of your life you feel like exploding.
Your heart is ripping apart everytime he talks to other girls,
you cry and cry and cry.
Is that what you do?

d i s p e n s a b l e .

I am still afraid to look you in the eyes,
because when I do so,
the guilt still hits me in the face,
and the pain stabs right through my heart.


Sometimes I wonder,
what would happen if I'm gone?
Am I so indispensable and invisible,
that even when I'm gone,
it doesn't matter?
Not a single bit at all?

p r o c a s t i n a t i o n .

Procastination is killing me. Seriously.
Come on idiot, buck up.


Christina Perri is right.
Who do you think you are?
What makes you think youre so great,
you can go around breaking hearts?
The scars you leave behind will never heal,
and the love you tore apart,
will never be pieced back again.
Do you know that?

Sometimes we all don't have a choice.

d r a i n e d o u t .

I feel so drained just trying to keep everything intact.
I feel so frustrated nobody wants or cares to know how I feel.
I feel so screwed up as an individual. (how many times have I mentioned this?)I feel like such a loser.

So why can't you just help me shoulder some burden?


Someday, I'll be living in a big, old city.
And all you're ever gonna be is mean.
I love Taylor Swift!
Sadly I fail as a fan of hers.

P a i n .

I promised. Never, ever to hurt anyone with my words.
But there I go again.
Piercing through someone's ego with my words.
If words can kill,
That person would have been dead by now.
Dammit, I'm an effing screwed up person.
I hate myself. I really do.
I wish I never existed.
I wish I never did that to you.
I'm so sorry. I'm so, so, sorry.
Empty promises is all I make.
All I can do is break them.
Cause I am effing screwed up.


And sometimes I numb myself by crying,
Crying myself to sleep.
I know it's lame, stupid and childish.
But I can't help it.
That's why I do.
I cry, and cry, and cry.
The guilt. It rushes up to me,
conquering every single part of my body,
repeatedly reminding me of my cruelty,
of my heartless deeds, of my immature acts.
The pain. It tears my soul into a million pieces,
My soul becomes it's prisoner, and it makes sure it torments my soul,
till it's completely paralysed.
Yes, it's that painful.