m a k e i t u p t o y o u.

The art of blogging is not easy to master.

I'm so sick of making it up to you,
just because of plain guilt,
when I don't even know what the heck did I do wrong.
Crap.
I really hate this.
You're just different.
Or no, maybe I'm just different.
But it doesn't matter.
Because now,
I'm no longer going to do anything make it up to you.
There ain't no need for that, I guess.

g u i l t .

For the past two years I managed this blog,
it failed miserably because so far I have only managed to post 173 blog posts.
But whatever.
I made an effort. (not really)

Guilt. It practically eats into me. Or rather, eat me.
I'm so sorry I made so many people said sorry.
I know it's my fault.
It has always been my fault all along.
I don't know what to do to make things better.
Save me, somebody.

Oh hi people.
Okay, so for ONCE, I meant it, ONCE.
I am going to blog a NORMAL blog post,
without weird paragraphs that nobody even knows what the heck I'm trying to say.
But then again.
This blog is like an isolated land,
nobody ever reads it.

Okay, so let's see.
Today was the ZhongHua 2011 Sports Carnival.
And Band won the third place for cheer competition!
Yay. Band ftw. Like duh. We're awesome.

Okay, but other than that, it was really hot,
I was burning,
the rubber track was burning,
I COULD SMELL IT.
Gosh, it stinks.
I stink from all the burning too.

Okay. I came home and slept like never before.
I woke up feeling like crap,
cause I wasted my time sleeping.
But then again.
I have loads of time to waste now,
that those exams are GONE.

Then I went to read the library book I borrowed.
I was on the 35 page did I just realised what was going on in the book.
Oh, I was SO proud of myself.

Okay, so now I have tried my best to put up a blog post without being too emotional,
too crazy, as if I'm drowning in abyss of sadness, depression.

I feel really screwed.
I try so hard, so hard to piece back the crumbling pieces of my life,
but no matter what I do, it's useless because those pieces just won't stick back to it's original place.
Am I to be blamed for that?

I need a life.
Out of this damned shithole I'm living in.
GET ME A LIFE.

I know what I'm doing is wrong.
But I can't put a cessation to it.
I can't help being like this.
It's just me.
What else do you want me to do?

Maybe without my existence,
you would be a happier person.
I'm really sorry that I even exist in your life.
But like I said, it can't be help.
It is fated.

Your life is crumbling to tiny pieces.
You try to hold on to them,
but you never seem to be able to fix it back.
And then,
you fall into a bottomless pit of despair.
You're left with nothing but pain.
A dull ache that gnaws at your empty soul.
An unbearable pain that seems to eat into your inner thoughts.
You feel like you're better off dead.

That's the impact.

Hi.
Those random blogwalkers who fills up my tagboard with stupid, ingenuine comments all just wanting me to visit your freaking page please just get the hell out of my life.
Thanks.

I can't believe it's so unfair.